Day 15: Tears Dry On Their Own

“All I can ever be to you is a darkness that we knew
And this regret I got accustomed to
Once it was so right
When we were at our height
Waiting for you in the hotel at night
I knew I hadn’t met my match
But every moment we could snatch
I don’t know why I got so attached
It’s my responsibility
You don’t owe nothing to me
But to walk away, I have no capacity

He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day, but I’m grown
And in your way
In this blue shade
My tears dry on their own.”

-Amy Winehouse


I’d like to first apologize to the two people who have been reading this so far.  I have been busy with work and no major things have happened over the past 8 days or so.  So I’ll sum up everything up until today.

Last week was by far the toughest stretch of this thing.  More of me wanted to give up than continue on with it.  After all, what’s the point? To appreciate whole foods? To cleanse your body of all the foolery you eat day to day so you know how it is affecting you? Who cares?

But, lo, I made it and I’m actually pretty proud of myself.  In my past endeavors, I’ve given up soda and slowly added it back in.  Or once I gave up potato chips and slowly added them back in.  This is literally giving up EVERYTHING you indulge in on a day to day basis and starting from scratch.  You can only eat meat that came immediately off of the animal.  Nothing that has been cut up and rolled into something else.  And you can only eat fruit and vegetables straight from the ground.  Nothing ground into small pieces for you to consume before going to bed.

When you read through the Whole 30 rules, she explicitly states:

“This is not hard.”

I would agree. I have gone through tougher things in life than not being able to eat chicken fried rice or stop by Popeye’s on Tuesday to get my 2 piece dark and a biscuit.  But this is pretty challenging.  Being responsible for cooking 3 meals a day is no fun (and don’t tell me “Try raising a kid!” I don’t have one yet, don’t need one yet, and don’t have to feed one yet so let me live in my moment).  Everyone I have talked to about this commends me for taking on such a feat but they also seem to try to educate me on “not going back to my old ways of eating.”

Let me explain/bitch.

By no means did I follow a Whole 30 diet before this but I was also not a hippo about my eating.  I know that I did not eat the best and I also know that I have no intentions of keeping up this Whole 30 after my 30 days is up.  Think about it: Following this lifestyle (some call it the Whole 9 lifestyle) means you can bake some potatoes in the oven to satisfy your french fry craving, but you can’t use ketchup because it has high fructose corn syrup.  And you can eat stir fry but you can’t compliment it with rice because rice is a grain and it’s not Whole 30 compliant.  This lifestyle isn’t realistic for the “average” person to follow long term.  Do people do it? Absolutely and I am beyond excited for them.  But Brandon – he’s not gonna do it.

Some people take that as, “Brandon’s going to go eat fried chicken every day after this and waste all of his efforts.”

giphy (1)

My question:

“WHY CAN’T I JUST HAVE A CRAVING FOR A SLICE OF PIZZA???” Why does me wanting something that is not apart of this challenge mean that I have no intentions of remaining healthy? I feel lighter when I walk, I don’t feel fat and sloppy when I finish eating, and my overall mood has drastically changed.  There are some awesome benefits to this lifestyle that I have already experienced and will be excited to check my vitals and everything afterwards.  But I’m hungry and I’m an adult! People can crave things without wanting to over do it.  People crave cigarettes after not smoking for a while.  Just because they crave a cigarette doesn’t mean they want to smoke all 25 cigarettes in one sitting!  Fat people who are getting skinny and want one indulgence don’t mean they want to throw caution to the wind and eat every special they have at Papa John’s.

giphy (2)

End rant.

Moral of the story: I’m doing fairly well on the challenge with limited slip ups.  Sunday I ate some horseradish which I found out later has soybean oil.  I also took very very very tiny sip of coke (like not even enough to say that I had coke) and my stomach immediately told me that that was a mistake.  Per Whole 30 rules, I am supposed to start over from day 1 for my transgression but per Brandon, eff that.  I’ll definitely follow a similar diet or an 80/20 diet ( but I can’t keep this up.  It’s not for everyone.

Today’s Lesson: Cheaters never prosper.  I had a love/hate relationship with food-related things in the past, especially soda. The 30 minutes after I drank it was torture on my stomach.  Like Amy, I’ll be fine without you.  It will be tough to completely give you up and I may slip every now and then but I think I can say today that I will make a conscious decision to not drink coke because it clearly doesn’t love me the way that I have loved it.

May the road rise up to meet you, Coke.

Yours Truly,




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s